::11.23.2003::

This is one paper that I wrote for my college applications. I said long ago that I wanted to start putting my writing on my site, so with my having to redo my portfolio for SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design) I've found a bunch of old papers. I 'll probably post one every sunday, since most sundays I don't have a whole lot to write about.

Topic:
John Keats said, “Even a proverb isn’t a proverb to you till your life has illustrated it.” Please tell about an experience in your own life which illustrated a proverb, maxim, or quote that has special meaning to you.


Who ever said, “One never realizes what it is they have until it’s gone,” is a genius. Though I doubt if they’d realized the power of this simple truth at first, but then again does anyone truly realize this until they’ve lost someone near and dear to their heart? I have been told this many a time, yet have never taken it to heart. But believe me; I would know I lost someone that meant a great deal to me, a young lady who was a good friend of mine. Don’t ask me her name, as I’m not willing to tell, my story however, is yours to hear if you wish.

I remember I first met her several years ago on a mid-summers day. I was at the pool with several friends, when this group of girls approached us. They knew my younger brother and were curious as to my true relation to him, and as that summer turned to fall and in due time, winter; we all got to know each other.
One of the girls and I became close friends but, once school started and the pool closed, we didn’t get to see each other, having our own lives to deal with. This is how the years progressed; summers were reserved for hanging out either with just her, or her with the whole group at the pool. And in the fall we parted ways, peering ever forward to what the next summer would convey to our adventure seeking hearts. It wasn’t long ago now that all of this changed.

We were in the park, on one of our frequent walks; it was just her and I. Suddenly, she turned to me and asked why I’d never kissed her, explaining that she had never spent this much time with a guy who hadn’t tried to hit on her. Well, this was a rather awkward situation for me. I’d never thought about it like that, still she was right. Neither of us had thought the other to be a best friend, which would be a highly logical reason for our hanging out so much; nor had we looked at each other as being boyfriend/girlfriend nonetheless, I cannot say that I was not attracted to her. Not knowing exactly how I should reply. In one hand our friendship; the other, how much I really liked this girl and how much I enjoyed just being around her. I froze panicked and we ended up going our separate ways. This happened several times, until one day I thought “to hell with it, I like this girl and she must obviously like me if she’s being this blatant about a kiss”, so I leaned in and kissed her. The walk back to her house seemed endless, neither of us knew what to say next, and upon reaching my own home I still saw the whole happening as a pleasant excursion from reality. My vacation however, soon turned to an obsidian nightmare.

Our relationship started out like any other, the novelty of it, similar to that of a tropic sunset. Then, as in life, the sun retreated to its hovel and the shadowy twilight was set into motion. It began with petty arguments, “We hung out with your buddies last night, let’s go to lunch with my friends instead,” and the next thing I knew it was, “This just isn’t working anymore.” Maybe I should have compromised more, or maybe she should have, maybe it was just time to start seeing other people, but no matter the reason, the end was very ugly. We both ended up just saying that we didn’t want to see each other anymore.

And there you have it; here I am remorseful for the choices I made, wishing that it could have stayed at friendship. What happened to her you ask? To be honest, I can’t enlighten you on this. We’ve talked a few times trying to patch things up between us, and at this point I really miss her. I miss our walks in the park, I miss talking to her, and I miss just hanging out. I mean we spend our lives seeking to find that one person who we don’t get sick of seeing as they grow old, that one person who we could spend the whole day with and still wonder “what should we do tomorrow” at the end of the day, that one person who we never tire of seeing their face or hearing their voice. And here I am having realized brilliance; here I am having finally realized how much one can miss that which they once had.

>> Alan spun round and round on 11/23/2003 10:13:00 AM