::6.11.2003::

That’s it; my direction in life has been brought into the light. It came to me in a dream last night after the shitty-ness that was yesterday. I’ve decided that there is nothing left for me here in Roswell. I will never be with the people I want to be with and will never have everything that I want rotting in this city of rich snobs. I’m going to take the internship with the Hayden Technologies. In the fall (or sooner depending on when I can get it all organized in New York) I’ll continue working and go to the Institute. Come next year on this day at this hour, I die in Roswell. All ties, family and friend, will get a final goodbye then I’m off. Both the Institute and Hayden have offices in New York. I need to get away from all of the bleak despondency that I’ve found here. I have done nothing but hurt those that I want to hurt least. A fresh start in a new place without ties anywhere else will do me good and like I said, there is nothing left for me here. The only reason that I’m still here is that I’ve no current arrangements in New York.


"No I don't know where I'm going
But I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday
And I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

Though I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord I pray you give me strength to carry on
'Cause I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

And here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
But I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

Just another heart in need of rescue
Waiting on love's sweet charity
And I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days
'Cause I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

And here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
But here I go again
Here I go again
Here I go again
Ooo baby Oooooo yeah

And I've made up my mind
Ooo baby
I ain't wasting no more time

And here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
'Cause I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

And here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone"
-- Whitesnake 'Here I Go Again"

>> Alan spun round and round on 6/11/2003 09:14:00 AM