::3.19.2003::

Well, I've decided that I can no longer hide how I feel about that which I've damned(see entry on 3/2/2003 # 2). It has the potential to utterly destroy something that I care deeply for, a friendship. I learned the lesson of not discussing your true feelings with those one is closest to last spring with Tiffany (whom I still miss), but I fear that as the year comes to it’s proverbial close that those emotions will be nothing more than a distraction and I need another distraction like I need to be shorter. To quote Francesca Lia Block "Love is a dangerous angel.” Perhaps I care too much about the people in my life. All I can say for certain is that I’ve lost two people very dear to me over the past year in service of some glorious and holy being. Ash, Tiffany; I miss you both very much and hope that you’ll somehow forgive me for the mistakes that I’ve made. In service of this angel I've made sacrifices both big and small, and now in service of that angel I make a leap of faith. I know that the person who this is about has no similar feelings toward me, and I hope that she will totally understand what I’m about to say. I’m falling for you, but I want you to know that this will be my only action on those feelings as I care more about our history. How you react to this, I don’t care, I’d like to think that things would continue to go on as they have been since we met freshman year in that math class. The ironies of life never cease to amuse. You know how to get a hold of me if you need to talk to me.

>> Alan spun round and round on 3/19/2003 08:42:00 AM